SCRA and the Tactics of Scaring Carolers Away
Christmas break is no Christmas break for me (and to the rest who would want to agree).
One big headache for us junior journalism students is our Law of Mass Communication subject, where intimidation and provocative discourse are the delicacies of our Wednesday quorums. Where every Wednesday is always Hell Day.
It was only last Monday when we only realized our super high, but super high(?), Cavite State University Library slash museum has already purchased (in spite of all our frustrations for their ‘yellowish artifacts’ in the building) a complete set of Supreme Court Reports Annotated (SCRA). Since our campus has opened admission for students in Bachelor of Law, these SCRAs would be accessible for our law students (ah ok) and to the rest of our colleagues who wished to end their lives through over nose bleeding1.
But unfortunately, the library staff is still enjoying sniffing the aircon odors of the hardbound books delivered. They have to bookmark them on the catalogue, yet, so no borrow. My classmate (who went there) just smirked.
We’ve already planned an option to go to the UP Library or the Arellano Law Library for the SCRAs. But the threat of our intimidating prof professor (who was amazed by yours truly, haha) that we will lose our lives if we don’t summarize the so-claimed SCRAs forced us to pay gold. Imagine our faces when we heard our professor that these 15 (minus one, I dunno why) SCRAs are approximately a hundred page each. Plus the f*ck factor.
Are you kidding me? And who’s gonna research everything?
“Neil, tinatanong pa ba yan?2“, one exclaimed.
For the trip, the whole class has to contribute a hundred peso each that would accumulate three hundred pesos for our fare, one hundred pesos for the initial photocopy of the SCRAs, and only a hundred pesos for my lunch. Life is so unfair.
“How about my talent fee? My recreational fee? Labor? And the VAT (Value Added Tax)?”
A book flew in mid-air.
——
10 am, and it was the last day of Arellano Law School to accommodate students in their library. The ultimatum was so bad, so many students have already queued for the photocopy of the SCRAs inside the photocopying center beside the library. Ate Gen (a classmate) and I, with all our paawa effect3 powers, wins immunity–we convinced the lady to pend our SCRAs first… to think that she still has to look for 200 more SCRAs already queued by the students since Tuesday two weeks ago. Oh well, life is just so unfair. (evil laugh)
We still have to wait until 5 pm for the output, so we decided to cool ourselves in a nearby mall. Unfortunately, both of us are G.I. Geographically idiot, that is. We have to guess what mall is nearest to our location. I’m no Manila boy. We lived in Manila for 5 years when I was too young to worry about wearing only my undies outside our house. A bus en route to SM Southmall passed by. Great! Southmall is nearby, we thought. But before we even reach a quarter to Southmall, we gaze outside our window and saw planet Earth.
Finally, setting my third world foot on le supermall grande royale.
We got off the bus and walked along the roadsides of the highway, thinking that the mall is nearest to us. But it isn’t–the mall is just so big. We didn’t think it’s a kilometer away from us. I don’t mind walking on long distances, but Ate Genipher has to bear with my misadventures. Poor Ate Gen, she has no choice but to walk with me along the highway. We thought of riding a jeep, but will the jeepneys hover for us? We walked instead.
What did we do in MOA?
Nothing but to go to the restroom and eat chicken–for 7 hours straight. We just walked and walked and walked and envy the Metropolitan elite who doesn’t bother spending a lot inside that prestigious shopping center. What can I do with a hundred peso allowance inside the 3rd largest mall in the world?
Nah, we just took the SCRA photocopies and fled.
—–
I misunderstood Christmas.
Spending is sharing in itself. By just purchasing the cheapest baratillo/tiangge4 items for your gifts to your loved ones (haha) you’ve contributed much to the economy of the black China market. You fool yourself in disbelief that your hundred peso t-shirt (which in just one look you’ll determine it’s ‘made from UK’5. Whatever) is in fact bought for at least 30 pesos a piece from the pier.
Spending for many gifts is troublesome. Receiving many gifts is more troublesome, especially when you receive an item that’s for sure a good buy from the tiangge, or you just receive the same item over and over again.
Christmas brings the spirit of tranquility and sharing. So why not share your belongings to the Budol-budol6 gang? If someone points a dagger at you, smile and greet him Merry Christmas. Then give your everything. Savor the spirit of Christmas, where crime rate is at its summit every year.
Christmas brings back your childhood memories. When you have godchildren already, you’ll recall every single rule of Hide-and-seek simply by not replying to them when they ask you the very most hated question of all the Christmas seasons that have passed especially if you run out of money–”Namamasko po!”7.
In our case, we simply placed a large cardboard with a big “Patawad po!”8. So whenever someone attempts to sing outlandishly out-of-tune in front of our house, no wonder they suddenly stopped singing. And hello? Some children even carol as early as December 9. Sheesh.
Christmas is New Year’s Eve.
Now this is stupid. The heck these Filipinos fire their PVC guns and crackers during Christmas. Hello? Isn’t Christmas a solemn celebration of the so-called birth of Jesus Christ? Why fire up super lolos and kwitis, huh? Stupid Filipinos. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Christmas break is Christmas break. Yeah right. The right opportunity for all the teachers and professors out there to lazy on their attendance for the remaining two working weeks of December and piled every unnecessary project to be submitted on the resume of classes. Yeah right again.
Christmas’ Misa de Gallo is “Simbang Gabi” in Tagalog translation, meaning “Night Mass”. Now this is funny. You take a shower and dress up as early as 10 pm and wake up 3 am without brushin your teeth. What else? You cannot listen religiously to the priest’s sermon because you are worried about your posh and glimmer or is just that you are already holding your nose for the mixed-up oxygen and carbon dioxide. You are worried because you might not see your loved one. And you only go to early because you have a date so you can eat puto bungbong and bibingka9. And it’s not a night mass. Duh? 3 am a night mass?
Christmas is Christmas. There are doubts about the exact birthdate of Christ. Just like our very own CvSU Centennial Celebration’s arguments on its exact date of establishment, Christmas is said to be born on September. So why celebrate?
Christmas is supposed to be happy.
…
Why can’t I?
1 - An idiom in the Philippines–when someone is bombarded with high falutin English vocabulary, they nosebleed. 2 - “Is there any need to ask about that?” 3 - “Have mercy on us” effect 4 - open-air market 5 - Ukay-ukay, term used for open-air shops selling smuggled second-hand clothes/items from abroad. 6 - A popular syndicate in the Philippines that hypnotizes victims for money 7 - “Begging for alms” Christmas edition 8 - Sorry. 9 - Native delicacies in the Philippines occasionally served during Christmas season
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