CATAMARAN
Hello guys. My number is 09215934749. I repeat. 09215934749. Haha.
Sheesh. Bulbasaurs are slowly multiplying on my was-turned flawless face again. Korean moisturizer, Eskinol painfully phlegm-like stingy acne gel… where art thou?
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Much had been blogged about the Milenyo typhoon that has offered a two-day blackout (yep, two days) that almost killed hundreds of our neighbors not because of the absence of electronic ventilation but of insecurity to our unrelented water supply. It has exfoliated all the cheapest rooftops and corncoboboed (coined term ^_^) cheapstake slum walls of recycled wood and substandard fortifications of Tagalogsia. And with its floods, it even rinsed all the toxins and impurities from our trepid drainages that caused snails, snakes, earthworms, and snake-looking-earthworm-shaped human excretions to swim synchronously with some stupidly-raised-by-parents kids in the road floods. And guess what? Some housemat from a Hobbit elsewhere that clogged one of our drainages caused it. Floods swept all the sand and cement from our neighbor’s house renovation. Very nice.
But hey, floods never reached our inside fence floors. Milenyo was no match to our newly-Vulca Sealed (actually, my mom ran out of Vulca so she caressed Elasto for the uncreamed nails) roof. But err, the Santol tree of my neighbor hula-hooped to the right, smashing the Meralco wires and the rooftop of the house right next to it, pulling OUR Meralco wires forward. Thank God, our construction workers’ toiling really paid off, and we never lost electricity prematurely (haha. Kawawa yung mga may-ari ng bahay na nabagsakan. When our village recovered electricity, they were the only distinguishably visible dark house. [*evil laugh])
Can’t imagine how the trees in Dasmariñas enjoyed their morning exercise routine with a 170 kph breeze. Like,
“C’mon fellow low-belter-juice suckers, listen carefully. I want you to keep your stomatas widely open as much as possible. Put all your stems in the air and follow my routine. For monocots, just keep your leaves closest to your centrix and don’t bend too hard. Hey you, coconut. Don’t shake your head that overratedly. Same with Durian and Jackfruit. For dicots, place your left midsect branches beneath your canopy layer and have your right branches stretched outwards to the left. Make sure your fruits are kept intact.Now ready–Here we go…
Left—-”
And then they stopped exercising.
My take. I nearly thanked the Lord for providing me the Signal no. 3 storm that postponed our photo exhibit opening (which apparently didn’t come out pretty well) to a week later than what was planned. I had no photos to be posted prior to the opening day, and hearing the suspension of classes greeted me the loudest exaltation of all the Gods in the universe.
But you know what, it’s not actually the no-electricity that boiled all the blood cells in my brain. Forty-five peso worth candles and a 30 percent increase in transportation did. I should’ve cried this to them–
“@$#%*! kayong lahat, sisiguraduhing kong hindi kayo aasenso sa buhay sa mga pinaggagawa niyo. Habambuhay kayong magiging tricycle driver at malulugi ang inyong sari-sari store sa dami ng saksak at taga sa inyo ng pinag-utangan niyong Bombay de-motorsiklo! Sisiguraduhin kong mamatay kayo sa sakit sa bituka’t utak. You’ll die begging for nothing, and I swear I’ll personally deliver your filthy self-f*cking ghosts to the bottommost circle of Dante’s Inferno. Have fun kissing Judas! Kakakarmahin kayo, mga hayop kayo!”
[smiling with a bright halo on his head]
[Nope. I don't use cuss words. I am a good pers--WTF, PI naman oh, natapon yung kape ko... No really, I don't cuss.]
My irregularly palpitating body is dredged to tons of academic requirements for the past few weeks in the University, I wanna faint right now. Don’t catch me. I’m a God. I can float. Joke.
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First.
I am the no-choice-but-to-accept-the-so-claimed-volunteer-call Editor in Chief of our 20-page newsletter “Cavite Watchdog” as final requirement in News Writing. Mr. Jun del Rosario (a retired Senior Manager of ABS-CBN News Dept now indulged in his cash-burning Cavite political career) is apparently eyeing us with a ‘better, wonderful output’ since he’s (awfully) aware that I am a previously self-proclaimed newspaper writer/artist/singer/dancer/macho dancer merged in one when I was practically eating nosedirt in The Gazette.
Been in different police stations in Cavite (so far, Trece Martirez City and Indang) with a nifty shoulder bag, a Smartphone slash recorder (that stupidly runs out of batt when it reaches its two-bar indication–turned stupid like me), some kapal ng mukha, and a smart-alecky friendly but intimidating tone that has quite given me the ‘professional look’, which I honestly don’t like =_=.
Now, most of my classmates have not gone to their designated municipalities but I am rather considerate. To read the next lines, you’ll be satisfied. Now I’ve moved my personal deadlines on Tuesday afternoon (bwahaha… as if I’m a real Editor in Chief ^_^) Deadlines are never dead to me. They reincarnate as many times as I turn toxic each darkest days of my life.
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Second.
Our Case Study about the MIS being used by the Aklatang Emilio Aguinaldo in De La Salle University - Dasmariñas is already snoozing us to feed them some attention. Brrraargh.
How come? I can’t juice (Juice?)‘kasipagan’ out of my muscles to encode the e-mail for Mr. Red. Yes, we can personally converse with him for the second interview, but we still have a lot of things to accomplish without leaving the University premises. That’s why I (intentionally obscured hidden agenda) suggested to my groupmates to compose a questionnaire to be sent online.
Wonderin’ how we can present him a generous honorarium? I asked him if he drinks coffee. ^_^
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Thaard.
Gaawd… A Noli Me Tangere Play Production? Golly! You’ll be seeing a freakazoid Neil with white opaque paint on my patilla in a Filipiniana costume. And I’ll act/sing theatrically Kapitan Tiago (no, of course not Crisostomo Ibarra! It should’ve been Pilosopo Tacio ^_^)
Eeeew!
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Fourth
Communication theory case study will be submitted on Wednesday. But I bet it’ll be moved on Wednesday next week. WE CLEARLY RECALL OUR TEACHER’S STATEMENT THAT OUR SUBMISSION WILL BE SIMULTANEOUS TO OUR MCOM EXAMINATION DAY WHICH WAS LATER MOVED UNTIL NEXT WEEK. [insert evil volume in maximum volume.]
But we haven’t started a thing! Even my very industrious and never irresponsible partner Nancy forgot to remind me about it (I can’t believe she’s timatamad na rin –_–) I’m currently typing the questions for the survey. Hope she’ll do it, too.
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Fifth
WAAAAAAAHH! Documentation for the photo exhibit! Aaargh!
As if our photo exhibit is successful. Thanks to Milenyo.
You know what? I am so frustrated with the exhibit. I know my entries are deserving to receive an award at least. But hey… the faculty has chosen some ill-focused and poorly-taken photos without any substance or gravity of any issue whatsoever. Really. I am crying now. Huhuhu.
Wipe. Laugh. Cry. Wipe uli. Then laugh.
(weeeoh weeoh weeoh)
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Sorry for the super late post. As in soooper uuuuber late. Tinamad lang talaga ako to type anything about my gigs for the past few weeks. Will be posting pictures later. Just wait.
