WHAT’S MY REAL EGO?
I’m losing my identity.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been idle to this blog. For the past few months, I’ve posted articles with phrases “I’ve been idle” for 3 times already.
It’s not because I’m too busy with my responsibilities in school I’m losing my grip to what I used to do in this blog. But perhaps the only reason I wanna stress out is that I’m stressing myself to keep on doing what I’m not comfortable to do anymore. I am thinking that being asiatic is distinguished in the articles that I publish in this blog, but rather babbles about my ordinary, and usually, extraordinary stuff in my college life. Yep. I’m trying to make an identity in this blog but the identity that I used to promulgate is already diminishing.
I think I’ll be making an alter-ego of me.
I’m not what I used to be anymore. I rant about politics, I rant about mainstream media, I rant about my personal misadventures… is that really asiatic?
Identity crisis, for God sake. Why now? Is it because of our organizational dispute?
Maybe. Perhaps I still have to take another doze of brain vitamins for a week.
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I’m currently working on a new blog with the title “Estudyanteng Pinoy”, presumably anticipating for a more cozy atmosphere of myself inside and outside school while currently enrolled in a semi-state university. O great, another blog again.
Apparently I’m tasked to finish my comic series for the so-called ’supplementary issue’ of our student pub–perhaps another compromise to our organizational dispute of whether to stand corrected or just remain silent about the CvSU heckling incident.
Anger is not what I’m feeling right now…
I’m so depressed. I just can’t demonstrate to my pub colleagues how sad I am right now–how frustrated I am right now. I can’t seem to find a pacifying method of establishing an organizational issue which was, well, apparently left to be forgotten to dimwits. I guess, I’m calmed down already. I guess, I must continue working with my co-staffers to retain our pub as fortified as possible, not noticing its flaws for the past few months… Perhaps the only way to convince them is to show them how responsible I am regardless of these ‘depressing factors’ that changed my perspective towards them–not personally, but as a fellow Gazette editor.
I just feel sorry for them… and it hurts me so much–badly.
It’s not plasticity, I underscore. It’s empathy… it’s procrastination. If the right time comes, I guest I need to contradict my intra-manipulation and voice out what I must voice out– friendly and professionally.
For now, we must continue serving the studentry. For now, I must continue to serve the students in realtime–to serve using the methods other people have oriented me….
I must continue serving the people in my own way.
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I’ll just announce if my new blog is ready. ^_^
Categories: Personalan, Eskwelahan
Tags: Extudyanteng Pinoy
